I'm not familiar with your stereotypes

by Bob Parsley
(The views expressed in this entry are the opinion of Bob Parsley and do not reflect the views of this blog.)

I'm a racist and I hate people. Specifically, people who are not me. I hate lots of people for lots of different reasons and although I'm still getting the hang of your stereotypes I think it's time for me to speak out. First of all, all you fat people, stop playing with your stupid abacus and doing your long division and go out their and get a job. I'm sick of my taxes paying for your fat ass research. That felt good getting that off my chest. As long as I'm here I might as well tell off all you Asians too. Stop invading our cities and stealing our jobs or we'll just cordon you all off in the south and you can get back to picking cotton.
And you women, you need to stop hunting all the whales to extinction and if you hate it here so much why don't you go back to Israel?! As long as we're sending people away, we might as well go ahead and send the Jews back to Africa where they came from so they can stop taking my jobs.
Of course this wouldn't be so much of a problem if the blacks would stop running the world's banks and complaining about menstration and go back to Canada. And is it just me or is everyone else sick of all these Mexicans working at an office during the day and playing in soft rock bands at night? And don't get me started on those well groomed, McMansion dwelling hippies. I tell you, the world just needs a good sorting out.